How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
