I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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