if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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