That's when you crack a 10am beer
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
