your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
