I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
