You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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