Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
