Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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