We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
