Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.

(1-248): View more from Michigan

What?

(248): View more from Michigan

..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.

(1-248): View more from Michigan

Details.

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(415): View more from California

Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.

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(315): View more from New York

apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.

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(431): View more from

Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.

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(937): View more from Ohio

But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver

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