They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
