my phone cant type all the emotion im having
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We don't watch enough power rangers
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
