Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
