Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
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