Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize