Well douche your snatch and let's go!
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
