How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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