just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
