My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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