these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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