Need sex. Gaining weight.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
