Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
you will always have a special place in my vag
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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