I look better un-naked...
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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