Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
