no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
