i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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