So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
