Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
