I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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