I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
