Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
