God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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