Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
