so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
