Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
