Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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