my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
