I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
