It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
