So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
