I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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