We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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