So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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