Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Randomize