Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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