My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
