is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
