I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize