BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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