Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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