my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Found the puke drawer
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Randomize
