I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
