My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize