I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
