the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
