it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
