You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
