a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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