does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
