Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
