Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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