Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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