I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
