it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
