3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
