speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
