i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
