Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
