OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize