i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
