Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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