if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize